For the last few days my spirit has been so weakened because I’ve been thinking about all that is going on in the world right now, so I decided to write about it and purge everything that I have been feeling, because that always helps me. I think that I have said in a few previous posts that I believe that everything happens for a reason, a reason that God does not always reveal to you as soon as you might like. For the majority of my years over 21, I’ve believed that there is also a lesson in everything that occurs in life, but now I’m at a point in life where it seems like I am always asking God to please reveal to me why he is allowing certain things to happen in the world, because there is so much happening that I just don’t understand. It feels to me like everything and everyone in this world has just gone awry and things have got to change for the betterment of us all.
Something else that I have stated in previous posts is that I try not to watch the news very often because of all the negativity that is happening in the world that unfortunately gets televised, but because I am interested in what’s going on in the world around me, lately I have been watching the news more often. Everyday there are numerous stories on the news about someone’s life ending due to some form of violence, most times there is a gun involved. I am truly saddened & heartbroken by the fact that we live in such chaotic times where people resort to killing one another over temporary anger, or things that are completely meaningless, things that are definitely not worth taking or losing precious life. There is so much selfishness being exhibited amongst the people who are supposed to be running this country, it seems as though they all only care about themselves and doing whats going to be beneficial to only themselves.
All of these things make me wonder what is happening in this world that I’m living in, this world that my three year old nephew is growing up in, the world where he’ll become a man. I grew up being taught not to question God, but honestly I do question God & pray he’ll give me clarity. I don’t understand why it is that God is allowing us to live in such turbulent times, times when one can’t watch the news without hearing about young people killing one another, times when it seems as though the world is completely lacking positivity, love, kindness, and compassion. We are living in times where it seems as though we don’t value one another, times where too much selfishness is exhibited, a time when babies’ lives end due to unnecessary violence. We’re living in a time where young children make the decision to end their own lives because of being bullied by other children who I am sure learn that behavior from someone older. I don’t understand right now what the reason is and definitely not what the lesson will be in the future, but I will try to continue to follow the advice of my grandmother and Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.💜
When life starts to twist & turn, and throw obstacles in your path that cloud your vision and make you unable to see a way out of certain situations and circumstances, do not lose faith & trust in God because he will always clear your path unto brighter days.
“Your situation does not determine your future. God will give you a fresh start because He has a destiny for you to fulfill.” ~Joel Osteen
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacles.” ~Christian D. Larson
I don’t watch television a lot these days, but this is the second time since starting this blog that something I watched on television inspired my feelings and thoughts giving me a subject to write about. A few days ago I watched a portion of an episode of 60 Minutes, the topic of discussion was how the living conditions in the South Sudan are affecting the children that live in that area of the world, causing them to become severely ill. I have a very special place in my heart for children and seeing how ill the children who were featured in the story have become simply because of the conditions in the part of the world that they were born in extremely saddened me and I could not continue to watch.
I did a little research on the South Sudan and the conditions in that part of the world. According to the Living Water, Community Transformation Organization’s website more than two million people have been displaced due to civil war. Four million people face food insecurity and do not know if or when they will eat on a daily basis. More than 90 percent of the population in the area live on less than $1 per day and 80 percent of the population has no access to any toilet facility. I realize that there are many more places in the world where people are dealing with third world conditions and being a person who truly cares about the welfare of others I wish that I had an efficient solution to the problems in those areas of the world as well as in the United States.
Seeing and reading about all that the people in the South Sudan are experiencing made me think about how we live in the United States and the many things that some Americans take for granted. I know that there are hundreds of people who live in poverty in this country but there are so many who do not and I believe that we take the way we are able to live in this country for granted. In this country we base so much about others on their material possessions such as houses, cars and clothes which are things that yes, we do work to earn the money to obtain and are things that we may place sentimental value on but they have nothing at all to do with what’s on the inside of a person, what’s in your heart & soul. It isn’t my intention to be judgemental and I hope that no one takes my words in that way, but I feel that there are too many materialistic people in this part of the world. If you really know me personally then you know I like to always have a nice handbag on my shoulder but I realize that having a nice handbag or other nice material things has nothing to do with who I am on the inside.
I know right now our health care system and how health care is paid for is something that is a big issue amongst the government officials who were elected to run the country, but we are so blessed and fortunate to have the health care system that we do in the United States, unlike some places in the world, we have great hospitals that we can be treated at when we are sick, we don’t live in an area of the world where people constantly die because of conditions that are ultimately simple to treat, but don’t have the resources for treatment. We stand in long lives at stores to spend money purchasing material things on days like Black Friday or the first day that the newest Jordans are being sold in stores whereas people in places like the South Sudan stand in lines to receive necessities like food and clean water.
As I said previously I am in no way trying to be judgemental and I really hope that I am not considered to be but I have personally been working on teaching myself that the type of person that I am is so much more important than the material things that I possess and I sincerely hope that this blog post will inspire others to reflect upon the person that you are and know that the things that you have been blessed with that are not material things like family, friends, love & compassion for others and the ability to make a difference all over the world just by being you are what’s most important in this life.💜
Today it’s been 18 years since the light was dimmed in my world when God needed my daddy back in his eternal home, it is so hard to believe that it has been that long, because some days it feels like it was just a day or two ago. People always talk about how sons need their fathers which is very true but daughters need their father just as much. I think most teenagers at the age of 16 completely take life for granted and don’t ever forsee anything changing their way of life. Wednesday March 3, 1999 taught me to think differently about life and realize that you are truly not promised tomorrow.
My daddy died at a time in my life when I feel like I was just realizing how much I loved him, how grateful I was that he was my daddy and how much our daddy/daughter relationship mattered to me.
There has not been one day in the last 18 years that I haven’t thought about my daddy and wished that I could have him back in my world, healthy and happy. I miss so much about the man that my daddy was, things like his extremely optimistic view of life and his sense of humor that until this day is unparalleled to anyone else I know. The world could be falling down on my daddy but he always kept laughter in our lives, he had a way of joking about things that made you laugh and think about things in depth all at once.
I miss his intelligence, my daddy could make you feel like he knew something about everything. I miss being able to talk to him about everything that was on my mind anytime. I miss riding around town with him, when he was in real estate broker/appraiser mode, while never stepping out of daddy mode. I miss being his little girl who he carried on his shoulders all the time. I miss being a witness to the love that my daddy showed my mother, it was true love that surpassed and conquered all and it saddens me that everyone doesn’t get to grow up witnessing real love between their parents. I miss my daddy’s love for my brother and I, I think that he really enjoyed being our daddy. I miss his love and admiration for family. I often wish that Daddy was here to interact with his grandson who is so much like him, they would really be enjoying each other. I am sure my nephew would be taking rides on granddaddy’s knee every day.
I know we all speak of the good qualities that people possessed once they have transitioned from this life to the next and I am well aware that just as all humans my daddy wasn’t flawless but I don’t have a bad thing to say about him, God blessed me with a great daddy who I always knew loved me and that’s all that matters to me.💜
Dedicated to my daddy
Tee M. Taylor Sr.
I have never truly understood exactly why so much emphasis is placed on race in the United States. Genesis 1:26-28 & 31 says, Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. My interpretation of that scripture is that God created every person on earth uniquely, as he wanted them. All people are individually unique and we must be willing to accept one another’s similarities and differences in order to live with one another peacefully.
We have to accept that there is nothing that makes anyone superior over another. Romans 2:11 says, God does not show favoritism. I believe that God accepts us all just as he made us and wants us to accept each other, but we do not. I don’t understand why it is that some people seem to feel that they are better than others simply based upon their racial background. The race relations problem in this country and throughout the world is senseless to me and I believe that if we placed more emphasis on what’s on the inside of people instead of judging by what’s on the outside the problem would not exist.💜
I haven’t been able to make my original plans for this blog happen because I have allowed life and it’s many twists & turns to get in the way of my dedication to writing something at least once or twice a month. I think I have mentioned it before but it literally shocks me to my core when someone tells me that something I have written has helped them in some way and that occurred this week, I had someone tell me that my random thoughts that I post on Facebook helps them to see things from a different perspective. I can’t truly explain how flabbergasted I was being told that my words, my random thoughts about various topics helped someone. After that experience I feel like I have a renewed energy for writing. As always I write because it is cathartic & therapeutic for me but if I can help someone with just one word that I write then my living is not in vain.💜
A few months ago I wrote a post on Facebook about how I think that God sometimes sends us signs in our daily lives that make us stop and think and completely changes our outlook on life. The experience that I wrote about on Facebook is one that has stayed in my mind since it occurred and even though it may seem simple to some the experience was very significant to me and has changed my perspective on life in several ways.
In August I went to have some repairs made on my leg braces, it is something that I had not done in a long while so I had forgotten how long I might be there. I probably should have taken something to read with me because the apps on my cell phone just were not entertaining me. I was experiencing the beginning of a migraine before I left home so the brace repair company was really the last place I wanted to be at that point in time. I was sitting there bored, in pain, getting impatient with a million things running through my mind. All of a sudden in the room where I was I saw a prosthetic leg that was made for a small child. It had been so long since the last time I was there I had forgotten that prosthetics were made there.
I took that experience as God telling me that things could be so much worse in my life. I found myself apologizing to God aloud for constantly dwelling on the things that I feel are negative parts of my life. Since God gave me that moment of what I consider clarity I have tried to stop thinking as negatively as I have in the past about the parts of my life that I am unsatisfied with. During the months since my moment of clarity anytime I have down days I pray and try to push myself back into the frame of mind of thinking and believing I am alive because God has a specific purpose for me to fulfill and a reason for placing me where I am.
My prayer since that day is that God continues to help me think positively, that he helps me to learn to not dwell so much on the negative aspects of my life while he is continuing to prepare me to fulfill his purpose for me. I pray that the moment God shows me what that purpose is that my ears, eyes and heart are open to receiving and understanding it and ultimately fulfilling it as he wants me to.💜
I’ve been going through some of my old journals trying to combine all my writings that I want to keep up with and store them all in one place. I came across something that I wrote in December of 2000 and it triggered my thoughts. It was a year after my daddy died and at that point in time I was thinking a lot about death and how the death of a loved one affects those that are still living, those who are left to mourn/grieve that person. In my journal from that year I wrote several times about death because my daddy’s death had a very profound affect on me and my thoughts.
My journal entry from December 19, 2000 was about the terms that are used for death. We say the person has “passed away” and we say to the bereaved family “I’m sorry for your loss.”and I have never understood why we do that. It seems as though we avoid using the words death,died or dead. I think I partially believe it is because under the circumstances we just do not know exactly what to say to the bereaved but also because using those words gives permanency to the situation and death is a very difficult thing to accept.
After my daddy died I absolutely hated to hear people say, “I’m sorry for your loss.”maybe I am thinking about it far too literally but when something or someone is lost it/they can be looked for and possibly found, my daddy and all others who die are physically completely gone from this life, as much as all of us who grieve our loved ones who have left this life would like we cannot form a search party and go looking for them so they are definitely not lost. In the previously mentioned journal entry I wrote that I don’t understand why people use the term “passed away ” my thoughts about that have certainly changed. 2 Corinthians 5:5-10 speaks about being absent from the body and being present with the Lord. After thinking about it for the past few years I have formed the belief that once you have accomplished God’s purpose for your birth into this life, your death or end of this life occurs and you pass on to a place where you will have eternal life fulfilling whatever purposes God has for you there so I do believe that people pass away to another life.
My grandmother always says “just as sure as you’re born you’re going to die, we didn’t come here to stay.” I think that death should be something that we can have straightforward discussions about while remaining respectful to one another and not sugar coating the topic because it is an inevitable part of life.
Genesis 1:27NLT says, “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them: male and female he created them.
I feel that God created each of us exactly the way he wanted us to be and if we could all become more accepting of one another this world would be a much better place to live. We need to understand that we all have our similarities and our differences and in order to exist together peacefully we need to accept one another’s differences. I was born with a physical disability and I completely understand how it feels to not be accepted because of a difference that other people do not understand.
I think that we would be living in a much more peaceful world if we would all just take the time to understand one another, to understand the battles we fight within our daily lives, our past struggles and the many things that make us all who we are. I have began to live life attempting my best at being accepting of the people around me. I understand that I do not have to like everything about them and they will not like everything about me but we must be accepting/tolerable of one another or we will never be able to get along.
Romans 15:7NLT says, “Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. When we realize and accept that we are all different and can come to a place where we can be completely, honestly accepting of one another, in my opinion this world we live in will be a much better place.
Several people in my life are always telling me that I should be a writer, because in some people’s opinion I have the ability to put words together well, so this blog will sort of be my way of being a writer. I love to write and I have thoughts and opinions about many different topics which you’ll probably see me write about. I hope anyone who reads anything I have written gains new perspective on the topics discussed. I cannot promise that everything will be punctuated correctly, but my grammar will be correct. Please feel free to comment but remember everything written here is solely based upon the beliefs, thoughts and opinions of Zena T.